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Well, the Onion has paid attention to the Pistons this season

OK … things seemed bad enough for the Pistons a week ago when Deadspin was taking pity on them. But now they’ve officially been satirized by The Onion too:

Most of Thirkell Elementary’s offense ran strictly through Thompson and point guard Megan Rivers, whom the Pistons struggled to keep up with because the fifth-grader can dribble with both hands and doesn’t have to look down at the ball to do so. On almost every possession, Rivers lobbed a high pass under the basket where only Thompson could reach it, allowing the nearly 5-foot-tall center to catch the ball and put up a shot from less than 5 feet away.

Once again, another problem that could’ve been solved by getting Andre Drummond‘s rim-protecting ability into the lineup more.


  • Nov 16, 20123:21 pm
    by Quick Darshan


    Well, of course they lost.  They had Lindsay Hunter out there.  And who did they trade to get Carlos Delfino back?

  • Nov 16, 20123:44 pm
    by Vic


    Wow, I’d change my process too after being blasted like that

  • Nov 16, 20124:54 pm
    by frankie d


    very funny.
     i liked this faux quote from frank:
    “I’m not going to comment on whether she was too rough with Jason [Maxiell] and Greg [Monroe]—that’s for the league to determine,” said Frank, specifically pointing to a play in the second half in which Thompson made a strong move to the basket and knocked Maxiell down hard to the floor, requiring the power forward to seek medical attention for a sprained wrist. “Ultimately, our guys are fine. They were mostly just a little frazzled. She played kind of rough out there, but in the end we need to be able to handle players like that.” 
    whoever wrote the article captured his cautious manner perfectly.
    great stuff. 

    • Nov 16, 20127:44 pm
      by T Casey


      Little things like that are why I love the onion. Very little gets past their writers.

  • Nov 18, 20122:07 pm
    by Raphael


    This is funny because I went to Thirkell Elementary on 14th street in Detroit. Lol

  • Nov 18, 20122:33 pm
    by Kobina


    I’m just waiting to see how Shabazz Muhammad will look in a Pistons jersey.  Keep the loses coming, NO LATE SEASON SURGE THIS YEAR!!!

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