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Ben Wallace, attorney at law

Yahoo!’s Marc J. Spears has a great read on Ben Wallace on a topic I’ve don’t remember Wallace ever discussing in all of his years with the Pistons: Wallace’s desire to go to law school after his basketball career ends.

“That’s my ultimate goal,” Wallace said. “It’s always been one of my dreams. I think I can argue a pretty good case. I think I can convince a couple of people to see things my way. I’m very serious about it. Very.”

One potential issue: Wallace will need to upgrade his wardrobe.

The problem? Wallace says he doesn’t own a single business suit or tie, which explains why he doesn’t know how to tie a tie.

“I think the last time I wore a suit was in elementary school,” Wallace said. “I’m from the Dirty South. I do have a couple two-pieces, though.”

Wallace, who has a bachelor’s degree in criminal justice, hinted when he re-signed in Detroit in the offseason for two years that that could be his last NBA contract, but he told Spears that he hasn’t decided for sure when he’ll retire yet.

ADDITION: Hat to move this up from the comments. Oats has already written Wallace his first commercial. It’s pretty solid:

Ben sits on the edge of his desk in a room where everything else is oddly colored black, suit positioned over his shoulder, and wearing a Detroit Pistons tie. He has grown his hair out again, and it is in his trademark afro. He is seated looking away from the camera. He turns to it and says, “Hello, my name is Ben Wallace. You may remember me from my playing days with the Detroit Pistons. I made a reputation as one of the hardest working players on or off the court, and now I’m one of the hardest working attorney’s in or out of the courtroom.”

Ben smiles as he sets the suit coat down on the desk, and starts unbuttoning his shirt sleeves, saying, “Other lawyers may have experience on me, but what I lack in experience I make up for in tenacity.”

Cuts to a clip of Ben Wallace highlights, then his voice continues talking, “If you or your family is hurt in an accident, I am exactly the right man to help you Rebound from it. If the insurance company goes up with a weak offer, be certain that I will Reject it over and over until we get a Slam Dunk offer that works for you.” (The words Rebound, Reject, and Slam Dunk are synced with high lights of him doing those things).

Cuts back to Ben, wearing a wife beater as he sits on his desk for no reason other than to show off his arms, and says, “Now that I’m not a part of the Going to Work Pistons, let me go to work for you.” Ben points at the camera while saying you, and continues, “I was one of the most intimidating defensive presences in the NBA, and now I’m the most intimidating presence in the court room. Trust me, the insurance companies will Fear the Fro.”

An announcer says, “Ben Wallace will make them Fear the Fro. Call 1-866-3 BIG BEN. That is 1-866-3 BIG BEN.” Just after saying that, a Big Ben clock chime sounds.

5 Comments

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  • Nov 17, 201011:36 am
    by Keith P

    Reply

    Can you imagine anything more intimidating than Ben Wallace in a court room?!? This would be a genius move on his part!

  • Nov 17, 20101:08 pm
    by Oats

    Reply

    Ben sits on the edge of his desk in a room where everything else is oddly colored black, suit positioned over his shoulder, and wearing a Detroit Pistons tie. He has grown his hair out again, and it is in his trademark afro. He is seated looking away from the camera. He turns to it and says, “Hello, my name is Ben Wallace. You may remember me from my playing days with the Detroit Pistons. I made a reputation as one of the hardest working players on or off the court, and now I’m one of the hardest working attorney’s in or out of the courtroom.”
     
    Ben smiles as he sets the suit coat down on the desk, and starts unbuttoning his shirt sleeves, saying, “Other lawyers may have experience on me, but what I lack in experience I make up for in tenacity.”
     
    Cuts to a clip of Ben Wallace highlights, then his voice continues talking, “If you or your family is hurt in an accident, I am exactly the right man to help you Rebound from it. If the insurance company goes up with a weak offer, be certain that I will Reject it over and over until we get a Slam Dunk offer that works for you.” (The words Rebound, Reject, and Slam Dunk are synced with high lights of him doing those things).
     
    Cuts back to Ben, wearing a wife beater as he sits on his desk for no reason other than to show off his arms, and says, “Now that I’m not a part of the Going to Work Pistons, let me go to work for you.” Ben points at the camera while saying you, and continues, “I was one of the most intimidating defensive presences in the NBA, and now I’m the most intimidating presence in the court room. Trust me, the insurance companies will Fear the Fro.”
     
    An announcer says, “Ben Wallace will make them Fear the Fro. Call 1-866-3 BIG BEN. That is 1-866-3 BIG BEN.” Just after saying that, a Big Ben clock chime sounds.
     
     
     
    (Sorry, but the first thought when I saw this article was, “He would have such an awesome commercial.” Even if he doesn’t become a lawyer, is there some way to make this commercial happen? I’m all for it.)

  • [...] still alive July 18, 2011 by: Reporter Share Tweet Last year, Ben Wallace talked to Yahoo!’s Marc J. Spears about his desire to become a lawyer after his playing days. With Wallace’s career in its [...]

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    by ombre hair chalk

    Reply

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